Easter 2010.

Another Easter has come and gone. Enjoyable to be with family again and it is always good to be back in Temple, even though we feel more at home in Keller now we still love seeing all of those wonderful people and being with Shar's parents and grandmother is always a blessing.

I want Easter Sunday to be significant to me, more so than other Sunday's but it never really has. I am not downplaying the resurrection or doubting in my faith in a risen lord and my dependency on Jesus, but isn't that how a believer should feel every Sunday, or every day?

Death is more real to me now. All of my grandparents on my side of the family are passed on and the remaining old generation are my Great Aunt Marge and Great Uncle Bill, both in their 90's. Shar's two grandmothers are both living, even though her dad's mom is in a nursing home and has all but forgotten who we are. Her mom's mother is in her late 80's and doing well, but likes to talk about what she will be buried in and were the good jewelry is hidden if she happens to go quick. Fun conversation.

Death is more real since my parents and in-laws are both getting older. Nothing out of the ordinary, but age is age and we are all moving along at a normal pace. My dad's surgery a few years back brought us to the real option of death and God grated him more time but his body, like all of ours has flaws and that is just a fact.

Death is more real to me since Brian died. I miss him, and seeing Dana and the kids at church without him just seems wrong. The resurrection promises hope for all of us and Brian already sees that hope but I still miss him.

Death is more real.

I went to see John and FA Bowen after lunch today. Saints from Western Hills that allowed me to love them and in return they treated my kids like gold. Married for forever and hanging on to their independence as long they can, they are almost out of fight. Their minds are crisp, but their bodies are tired and they hate being away form each other, so when I visited FA at Scott and White she felt confident that John would be able to come from the nursing home and sleep in the empty bed next to her and that way they would be closer to home and it would be easier to get there the next day. Reality is they are most likely not going home and will finish this life in nursing care. Seeing them today reminds me of great days gone by and that the end is near.

My ramblings have brought me to this point and I know not what to say next. I appreciate the words of Solomon that life is meaningless and all if futile. All the effort we put into this earth so we can grow old, and be taken care of by other people before we die and meet our maker.

Death is real to me, more so than it has been in my life and I am more aware that I have a calling to be a witness for Christ and a voice for the kingdom while here on this earth. Death will come to me and I hope to meet it with grace and confidence, because we were made to die, and with death comes the life that we were living for all along.